8 Raunchiest Rap Songs Kids Love to Sing
October 1
under: Lists
comments: 34

For as long we’ve created music for the masses, parents and politicians across the world have been quick to complain that our children are being exposed to violent and overtly sexual messages. Hip-hop in particular has been a lightning rod for controversy especially when it comes to vulgar and raunchy lyrics. Because hip-hop has always had such a huge target on its back, many artists have become masters at hiding disguising their really dirty lyrics through the use of creative metaphors which seem innocent to anyone who doesn’t understand their true meaning. That’s great for us adults but I will admit I find it a bit awkward, and sometimes amusing, when I hear a 5th grader unknowingly singing a song about squirting jizz onto a girls face.

So with that said here is a list of the 8 raunchiest rap songs kids love to sing.

08. Next – “Too Close”

In 1997 I was a wide-eyed 15 year old freshmen being driven to school by a gorgeous blonde senior named Jenny. Every morning Jenny let me pick the music we’d listen to and for a little over a month the song “Too Close” by Next was by far my number one choice. One day Jenny turned to me and said “I think it’s pretty fitting that a freshmen boy would be so obsessed with a song about uncontrollably popping a boners”. I was completely embarrassed and simultaneously baffled by her statement. My red face and look of utter confusion must have given me away because Jenny then restarted the song and told me to listen to the lyrics. Like a blind man seeing for the first time I sat back and felt a little bit stupider with every passing verse. I mean how could I not have understood this? The first line of the song is “I wonder if she could tell I’m hard right now”. That was the last time I played “Too Close”, I spent the remainder of the semester playing Mase Harlem World on repeat at least I knew what Mase meant when he sang about buying E Class Benzes.

07. Lil John & The Eastside Boys “Get Low”

Using nothing more than a basic synthesizer and a few simple catch phrases Lil Jon has managed to pump out some of the most infectious rap anthems of the last 5 years. None more catchy than the track he produced with The Eastside Boyz “Get Low”. Get Low featured some obviously explicit lines like “to the sweat drops down my balls.(MY BALLS)” but the reason it ended up on this list is for popularizing the phrase “skeet skeet”. “Skeet skeet” refers to the act of shooting jizz onto a girl’s face, ass, tits, etc. Until Dave Chappelle pointed this out to everyone on Chappelle’s show you couldn’t walk 10 feet without hearing some kid yelling “skeet skeet mother fucker!” While it may have been funny to watch a kid unknowingly tell his friends he wanted to cum on their faces after an awesome basketball shot, I think everyone felt pretty dirty when the whole truth was exposed.

06. Lil Wayne “Lollipop”

Lil Wayne is undoubtedly the one of the best rappers in the game today. His latest album, The Carter 3, is flawless. Every track could be a hit single. It has to be one of the best hip-hop albums of the last five years, perhaps one of the best ever. The first single off The Carter 3 is an insanely catchy little number called Lollipop. Upon first inspection you may think lollipop is a coy yet innocent song about a sweet candy treat. But you would be shocked to discover that Wayne is not actually singing about his love for lollipops but is in fact singing about blow jobs. While most school kids may not grasp the true meaning of this song, they must be at the very least be concerned about an impending cooties outbreak all this licking is sure to bring. No in case you are wondering whether this song is about getting or giving a blow job Lil Wayne clears up all confusion by starting the track off with the words “Uh huh, no homo”. Thanks LW.

05. Kelis “Milkshake”

Attention middle school girls everywhere! The secret to getting all the boys to like you is making the perfect milkshake! For me that means chocolate and vanilla ice cream with peanuts, Oreos 2% milk and lots of Hershey’s syrup. This is the lesson we can learn from Kelis’ hit song “Milkshake”. In the song Kelis generously offers to teach all the girls how to make the perfect milkshake “but [she] has to charge”. Sounds like a good deal right? Not when you realize that “Milkshake” like Lil Wayne’s Lollipop, is just another raunchy metaphor for giving a blow job. Kelis should be ashamed of herself for teaching middle school girls everywhere that the only way to bring “all the boys to the yard” is to go down on as many guys as possible and sell these trade secrets to other girls for money, like a whore.

04. D4L “Laffy Taffy”

Clearly using candy and other sugary treats is a popular way to disguise the true explicit meaning of your song. D4L’s song Laffy Taffy is no exception. According to www.urbandictionary.com “Laffy Taffy is a slang term for the female genitalia– more specifically, the labia minora– so termed for it’s resemblance to stretched (pink) laffy taffy. Therefore, the term may also carry with it connotation of excessive sexual intercourse which can result in a stretched or elongated labia minora.” Not much else to say so I’ll just point out my favorite line in the song: “Gurl you don kno’, Ima toss da laffy taffy. Toss it flip it and slap it. Bust a couple of nuts. And get right back at it”. Just as Willy Wonka intended.

03. Christina Aguilera, Mya, Pink and Lil Kim – “Lady Marmalade”

For the entire summer of 2003 you the entire world was collectively hypnotized by Christina Aguilera, Mya, Pink and Lil Kim’s remake of Lady Marmalade. The song and accompanying music were utterly unavoidable. Much like Next’s “Too Close” I’m sure you could go the rest of your life without ever realizing that this song was overtly sexual. This updated version of a 1974 song by Labelle is about cajun prostitutes selling their vaginas. “Giuchie giuchie ya ya da dada” translating to “Get your vagina here daddy”. Of course if you spoke French you wouldn’t be surprised at all because the chorus of the song is “would you like to sleep with me?”. The quirky lyrics and colorful music video inspired a generation of tweens to dress like whores so I guess we should be thankful???

02. Rihanna – “Umbrella”

Perhaps the most surprising song on this list is Rihanna’s Umbrella, or as it might as well be called; Rihanna’s Vagina. Don’t get me wrong I think it’s brilliant that Rihanna fooled the whole world with this song. You may not believe me but listen to the song right now and tell me that it’s not obviously about Rihanna letting her boyfriend finish inside her without a condom. I am an especially big fan of how the whole song builds to a pulsating release with her moaning the lines “ella, elle , eh eh. Under my umbrella”. What a dirty girl.

01. Soulja Boy – “Crank That”

There’s a reason Soulja Boy’s song Crank That was such a massive hit with middle school kids everywhere. It was incredibly catchy, it had an easy to follow dance which was broadcast millions of times on youtube and most of the lyrics were so retarded and nonsensical only a 7th grade boy could ever possibly enjoy it. But what is 17 year old Soulja Boy singing about? Well the entire song is practically dedicated to sexual acts some of which most 12 year olds wont experience for a decade. First the song is called Crank That, which means to jerk off. Second Soulja Boy mentions “super soaking that hoe”, take a wild guess what that means. And my personal favorite is when he encourages listeners to “Superman that hoe”. Now what could this possibly mean? To Superman is when a girl wont give you any sex so you let her fall asleep then masturbate on her back and stick the bed sheet to her so when she wakes up she’s wearing a cape! How could a middle school boy not love this song?

So there you have it, the 8 raunchiest rap songs kids love to sing. I hope we didn’t come off as prude. Believe me we are far from it, but we do get a little uncomfortable when we hear our nephews, nieces, little brothers and little sisters triumphantly singing about some very dirty sex acts. Congrats to these artists for slipping one by the American people and we look forward to all the creative metaphors you come up with in the future to describe various deprave sexual activities! Now I need to go superman dat hoe.

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gibbs12 said:

great post, hilarious rihanna translation

http://yepyep.gibbs12.com

DJROK said:

This ain’t nothing compared to 2 Live Crew lyrics.

Pest said:

Lil Wayne fucking sucks…

Snap said:

‘To Superman is when a girl wont give you any sex so you let her fall asleep then masturbate on her back and stick the bed sheet to her so when she wakes up she’s wearing a cape!’

The greatest thing I’ve ever learnt.

Dave said:

Well done BW. Not a bad list. Download the song 1980 by Dirt Nasty(???) . Dirty dirty!

Josh said:

I’m callin bullshit on Umbrella, I just don’t hear it. It just sounds like another nonsensical love song.

stand under my umbrella = giving a creampie? No…

I never could figure out what “Milkshake” meant. I never knew if it meant titties, vagina, or ass.

Jesus said:

@Josh
not hear her at the end? “Come in me, come in me”

ktmonster said:

Funny part about Umbrella, it was originally given to B-Spears and she turned it down, we all know she doesn’t insist guys wrap it up….just saying….

DICKSTOMP said:

According to Kelis herself, a milkshake is the way a woman carries herself. Thanks for playing, gb2yoga.

bee said:

ok man wtf, i tried but I just couldn’t let it go…whoever wrote this post is a freaking retard, almost every single description has an inaccuracy in it, has this person even listened to the songs hes writing about…..the song “Too Close” by Next….does not start out with “I wonder if she can tell I’m hard right now”..and the song “Lollipop” by lil wayne does not start out with “uh huh no homo”…wtf next time get your shit straight….fucking retard

weednsyrup said:

waynes album was not one of the best ever…
not one of the best in the last 5 years
shit its not even the best this year
it was garbage and could have been way better…
II trill by bun b was a way better album

me said:

its actually sort of insulting as a human that one could consider lil wayne’s cd flawless or a good representation of rap. just because hes one of the best rappers NOW means NOOOOOTHING.

tazmaniak said:

“It’s raining, raining.Under my umbrella”

Skeet, skeet.

Sydephex said:

Lil Wayne’ is nowhere near being the best rapper, not now, not ever. O-o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbSBdJk3p38&feature=related
These are rappers.

OPP - 10/02/08 : EAR FARM :: music information helps grow ears said:

[...] 8 raunchiest rap songs kids love to sing [...]

Home Stretch: Links To Round Out The Work Day | YepYep said:

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Kev-One said:

Ok, Let’s get Serious……….

8) Necro “Get On Your Knees”
7) 415 “Groupie Ass Bitch”
6) Too Short “Dope Fiend Beat”
5) Two Live Crew “We Want Some Pussy”
4) Scareface “The Pimp”
3) The Geto Boys “Gangster Of Love”
2) The Geto Boys “The Other Level”
1) Akinyele “Put It In Your Mouth”

Omni3 said:

You must never have heard the song “how many licks” by lil Kim:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Qq3AHtlKs4

Lyle said:

112 “Peaches and Cream” hehe

mike b said:

anyone else notice that it’s just black folks on here?

a said:

i dont know one person who doesnt know what the songs lollipop and milkshake were actually about
but i had no idea about umbrella being sexual

Brian said:

Seriously, you’d have to be severely mentally challenged to not know what those songs are about. It’s pretty obvious. The dirtiness is exactly the reason why kids like those songs, for the same reason teenage girls admire whores like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.

I don’t buy it with Umbrella, though. You’re really reaching there. There’s no way that song is about cumming inside a chick’s cooch. You’d have to be looking at those lyrics with a level of subtlety that just doesn’t exist in pop music.

Lecia said:

There is no way Umbrella is in anyway sexual. You have to have an extremely explicit sexual mind to even TRY to go there.
And I still don’t belive that’s the meaning to milkshake. I think it means shaking your ass and nothing more.

brandon said:

whoa whoa whoa unbrella isnt “sexual everything else is sopt on loved the thread and um girls dont even talk about lindsay lohan or paris hilton

dustinallen said:

i can’t believe colt 45 by afro man isn’t on this list, i thought it would be #1

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CC said:

The fact that half of these songs aren’t even RAP songs is just the beginning of the stupidity that is this list. Try harder next time… better yet don’t try at all.

tdock215 said:

you hella wrong crank dat dont mean to jerk off come on now get cha facts right. ok the song is sexual but super mand dat hoe is funny as shit

ashton said:

i omni3 his list is so much more fu#ked up than this list

steven said:

ok really ppl? your suggesting all of these songs that “should” be on this list when 1st of all it says 8 most raunchiest songs KIDS sing and 2nd of all 99.9% of kids havent ever even heard of like kev one ive never even heard any of those songs in my life and im prettyyyy sure my kids havent either i look at there music a lot this guy its totally right except idk about umberella but ive never heard a kid sing how many licks my lil kim so really if your going to comment atleast know what your talking about thanks :)

Nick said:

@bee: Have YOU listened to “Too Close” and “lollipop” because, YES, they DO start with those lyrics!!

J Swizzy said:

ok hold up a min. Half these songs aren’t dirty at all…. Pull my hair and How many licks are dirty. Crank that isn’t dirty at all in any way. Listen to those.

Jolyn Reddrick said:

Meaning of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
Regard it just as desirable to construct a chicken house as to make a cathedral.

Raunchy rap | Seifen said:

[...] 8 Raunchiest Rap Songs Kids Love to Sing | BeatsandBombs.com …Oct 1, 2008 … For as long we’ve created music for the masses, parents and politicians across the world have been quick to complain that our children are … [...]







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